Saturday, 23 January 2016

Being a Mum can be hard

Sometimes being a single Mum can be really difficult. It's hard when you know one of your children is struggling and there is nothing you can do except be there for them. I want to take their pain and worries away but sometime that is just not possible.
My daughter went all the way to Maryland in America to study at the university until the summer. The preparation was stressful and she didn't get her things ready until the very last minute.
I got up at 3am and drove her 2 hours to the airport in Manchester and then drove all the way home, worrying whether she had caught her flight ok and if her case was too heavy etc.... I then worked all day and was so shattered that I got ill with a bad cold and chest infection.
When my daughter arrived in America the airline had lost her case. It was freezing cold and she didn't have the warmest clothes on, plus she left her coat in my car! Tearful phone calls continued for 3 days and she had no clean, warm clothes, no bedding and no one she could turn to. I just wanted to jump on a plane, give her some clean clothes and a cuddle and then come home but I couldn't.
I just felt so unsettled knowing that she was in a bad place. I did what I could and contacted the airline and eventually she got her case back.
Home sick phone calls continued with her saying she hadn't made any friends etc and I just couldn't settle. I felt so helpless. She was sleeping on a bed with no bedding and it just didn't seem right.
Today however, she has some bedding and has been out with some new friends. She seems a lot happier and maybe I can settle again.
It just got me thinking that when I had my 3 children I didn't sign up to be a single Mum and do it all by myself. All the worry is horrible and it would have been so much better to have her Dad to share it with. I even did something I have never done before and I emailed Bruce to tell him how much we were struggling. I know it won't get me anywhere and he won't reply but for once he might worry a tiny bit or wonder if she is ok and he might know a bit of what I go through.
I'm so proud of her and really want her to enjoy this experience and make the most of it but so far it hasn't been a brilliant start and it can only get better