Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Crazy night

Another crazy night as I'm sat on the bathroom floor shaking and crying. My bed is wet and I've crawled into the shower and scrubbed myself clean. No amount of soap can get rid of his smell and my skin still crawls from his touch no matter how much I go over and over it.
I feel dirty so deep within me and everything is so bright and loud. The images going round and round in my head just don't make sense. It's like a broken movie, all fragmented but not one I want to piece together.
I'm not going to hurt myself, he is not going to win. Not sure how to keep going but I've got to. Slow down my breathing, make sense of the space around me, notice my legs on the cold tiled floor and take in all the colours around me. I can do this, I have to. It's just so bloody hard.