Thursday, 9 June 2016

Working with PTSD

I'm really struggling at the moment. After being off work and in hospital I'm trying to get my life back to some kind of normality but it is not easy.
I am a teacher and really aware of my responsibilities and hate being off work. I went back to work before I had even been discharged properly from the hospital and realise now that it was way too soon and I was not ready. My GP only signed me back to work as we had a brief telephone conversation and I asked her to sign me fit for work. she hadn't even had my notes from the hospital or anything and just took my word for it. I was not really well enough though and now I am paying for it.
I can only have 4 weeks phased return and have used all that time up so now I have to go back full time. I'm not seeing the doctor from Occupational Health until 24th June so there is very little I can do. I spoke to someone from HR today and she said that I have to go back full time or be paid part time hours even though I can't afford it. I don't see the point of even going to see the OH doc if there is little that they can do to support me. I nearly killed myself a few weeks ago and is any job worth that? Maybe it's time to think about my options and put myself first.
my job is stressful and for the 7th year running I am under threat of redundancy. They keep getting rid of people and then making our work load bigger and bigger. It has become impossible and I've had enough. Surely employers have a duty of care when they keep putting you under so much stress but apparently not. They did offer 6 weeks of counselling with one of their counsellors but that is no good for me. I need specialist help and support and I realise now that I can't get that and work full time.
I spent 6 weeks in hospital for nothing as I have less support now than I ever have. I have not heard from the therapist that promised me he would not give up on me and have only seen once this year.
No wonder people give in as it is so hard to keep your head up and keep going.
I'm not sure what work can do to make a difference but maybe if they even acknowledge that there are times I struggle it would be good. Some safety measures around those times would make a difference but the message was loud and clear today - if I'm not up to the job 100% then I shouldn't be there, so no pressure,!!