Sunday, 29 March 2015

Be careful what you say

It's amazing how a few words can cause so much pain. I sometimes think people don't think before they speak or even think of the consequences - how their words are going to make you feel.
An old acquaintance of mine rang me out of the blue to say that she had seen my consultant. She had great delight in saying that they had mentioned me and he had called me 'crazy julie'
I asked her in what context but she wouldn't say any more except he obviously thinks I'm mad.
He does probably have a point but it's still not nice to hear
I have his mobile number and asked him why he had called me that. He replied that it was a term of endearment and that he doesn't discuss patients with other patients.
Now I just feel hurt and confused. I know my mental health can be all over the place but I do manage to hold down a good job and hold my family together. Do people really think I'm crazy?
What does crazy mean anyway? At least he didn't say mad!
My thoughts are all over the place and playing tricks with me - lots of suicidal thoughts, I'm not good enough, it would be better if I wasn't around etc....
Just got to keep my head up and keep going