It's night time again and time to go to bed. Wish I could stay awake all night instead of having nightmares.
Last night I had a nightmare and my bed was wet. I had a shower and curled up on the sofa downstairs. I should have sorted my bed out but I didn't and then it took me ages to be able to go and sort it today. In the cold light of day I feel so dirty and stupid.
I'm just so exhausted and that is not helping at all. My cuts are sore and I feel really low. Suicidal thoughts come into my head all the time and I'm tired of batting them away. I'm scared that one day I will listen to them and do something impulsive.
This is nothing new and I should be stronger.