Monday, 19 January 2015

So tired

Really tired and fed up tonight. Not sleeping very well at all as nightmares are back so strongly. My skin crawls and I feel really dirty all the time. Can't believe I'm back in this crap place again.
No matter how hard I try and how much I try to keep my head up I can't stop the free fall when I'm struggling. It overwhelms me.
I haven't got any meds anymore and I'm beginning to wonder if that is a good idea. I hate how they make me feel but am frightened in case I get too low and impulsive.
Empty nest syndrome is crap. All my children are getting on with their lives and I'm on my own much more. It makes me think that it would be ok to not be around anymore but I know that is not true. I've just got to find my life again.
I need to find a purpose to keep going and some new friends. Not sure how I do that.
Work is busy and I have an ofsted inspection tomorrow which is stressful but it will be ok
PTSD is hard and it never ends