Sunday, 31 May 2015

Crisis over

I think the prazosin is helping and last months crisis is finally over for now. I'm sleeping a lot better although the meds do make me feel a bit groggy in the mornings.
I had a B12 injection last week and already feel like I have more energy. I managed to get loads done in the garden yesterday and am hoping to do some housework today.
I still get moments where I just feel really low and know I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm trying to stay around people and keep busy. I've knitted some lovely cardigans for friends babies that are due soon and it makes me happy to be able to give them to them.
I have an abscess on my wrist from where I cut myself. It finally burst last night and is looking a lot better this morning. I have dressed it and am keeping it clean. I'm trying to not use antibiotics if I can help it. I've had so many recently.
This week I have another trauma therapy session. Last weeks was probably the worse session I have ever had. We tried to tackle some pretty traumatic flashbacks and it just got too much. I was so upset and couldn't breathe. My therapist got me a drink of water and it was obvious that he just didn't know what to do. My skin crawled and I couldn't stay still. I paced up and down his office and cried. Now I feel so stupid! This week I think we need to take it much slower and maybe concentrate on positives. The images in my head just get so loud and vivid and I can't deal with them. The EMDR is supposed to give me a tool to tackle those images but I have learnt that you can't force it and you have to be ready. Smaller steps forward are better sometimes. I'm nervous about this week but know I need to keep going.
So it's back to work tomorrow and hopefully this week will be better