Friday, 18 September 2015

What a week!

I'm so glad to see the end of this week. It has not been an easy one to say the least! I saw a friend today and her first words were 'you look rough!'
If only she knew what I'd been through this week and what a miracle it is that I came out of it with only a cut on my wrist.
I've felt so unsettled today and when I got in my car to go home I just froze. I sat in my car and suddenly everything was so bright and so loud and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move and felt really panicked. Time seemed to stand still and half an hour went by from nowhere. Eventually I took my shoes off, got out of the car and stood on the cold concrete in order to ground myself. I think anyone watching me must have thought I had completely lost the plot but I didn't care. I managed to get back in my car and drive home safely. It annoys me just how quickly these feelings can escalate and how I just freeze. There must be a way to manage those feelings better.
Once home I was just so shattered and I tried to sleep for an while but couldn't doze off. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.
I plan to have 2 PJ days this weekend and to rest so I can feel stronger next week. I can't function properly at work when I'm so tired and everything is such an effort.
I was at a play group this afternoon and was playing with some children in the playground when suddenly I felt something wet and soggy on my leg under my trousers. The packing and dressing from my abscess had come out. I casually pulled it out and put it in my cardigan pocket!!! Yuk - but I didn't know what else to do. My life is just crazy.
I went to the supermarket to get some food for the weekend and ended up buying lots of chocolate - I think I deserve it and need to spoil myself.