Woke up this morning and felt really agitated and unsettled. Just had a horrible ache in the pit of my stomach and my head was everywhere. I knew today was going to be a long day and I was going to struggle to stay safe.
I don't do distraction very well. I knew I could ring the crisis team but what was the point. They would tell me to go for a walk, have a bath, bake a cake etc. and today didn't feel like a day I could do any of those things.
Sometimes I just need time to stay still and hold me and I don't need to fight against it.
I decided to just have a lazy day and to go with how I was feeling and if I needed to cry or rant and rave then so be it.
I stayed in bed longer than normal and listened to my playlist on my IPad. It was good to relax and not have to think about rushing about anywhere.
When I did get up I just ate what I fancied and ended up eating junk most of the day but it didn't really matter. I curled up on the settee and watched a film this afternoon - don't even remember what it was but it kept me going all afternoon.
I cleared my daughter's bedroom this evening as I'm going to decorate it over the next few weeks.
So giving in when I felt like doing nothing didnt hurt and I managed to get through the day and be kinder to myself. Maybe I should do that more often.
Back to bed now and hope it is not a bad night.
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