Thursday, 16 July 2015

Going home

Just waiting around to fly home - will arrive back around midnight
The rest and the sunshine has done me good but I'm feeling anxious about how I'm going to cope back home
Two weeks of work and then I've got a month off. Think I need to spend that time trying to let people help me more. My therapist talked about an inpatient trauma program and I've resisted so far - it seems scary and I don't like to feel out of control but I recognise I need help
Things spiral so quickly downwards and I'm leaving myself at risk of doing some permanent damage.
So far this past few months I've knocked myself unconscious, broken my collar bone, taken overdoses, stabbed myself and needed stitches more than once. It is not good and I need to start looking after myself more.
The disassociation is getting out of control - maybe a review of meds is needed? I just know I can't keep going like this if I want to see my grandchildren!!!