Sunday, 28 July 2013

Journey so far

This is my very first attempt at blogging and thought I'd tell you a bit about me and what I hope to achieve through my blog.
My name is Julie and I'm 48 years old. I work full time as an Early Years Specialist Teacher. 13 years ago my husband raped me and abandoned me with 3 young children to go and live in Thailand. Since that time I have been a single mum and my children are now 24, 21 and 17. After my ordeal I have been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and for a while now have been struggling with horrendous flashbacks and nightmares.
I am currently having trauma therapy which I am finding very challenging. This involves EMDR sessions that recently have left me very unsettled and have made my nightmares more vivid.
I have recently heard that after 13 years my husband is returning to live in the town where I live and that terrifies me. He has not supported me or my family financially or in any other way and I am feeling threatened by his imminent return.
I'm hoping that I can use this blog to track my journey through trauma therapy and EMDR and also to track my emotional turmoil and mental health. I would also like to explore how my mental health affects my family and my working life.
I am a champion for the Time To Change campaign to challenge the stigma of mental health.
At present I am struggling, night times are impossible and I've stopped taking all my medication after a disagreement with my psychiatrist. The night crisis team want me to go into hospital as my self harm has been particularly bad over the past few weeks. I have had 3 visits to A&E to be stitched up.
This week I have an appointment with my care co-ordinator and a session of trauma therapy so I hope I will be able to access some support.