Thursday, 24 October 2013

Trip to A&E

Can't believe that I ended up at A&E again. I have been struggling for a few weeks and asking for help but just get told to go to bed which is no help at all.
On Tuesday night I just snapped after yet another nightmare. Yet again I ended up in the kitchen and just stabbed myself with a kitchen knife. I ended up having a ct scan at the hospital and 15 stitches.
I saw the psych team and they wanted me to stay in hospital. I didn't really care either way but just felt numb and frightened to go home. However there weren't any beds available so they told me to go home.
I am so frightened of what I'm capable of - one of these times I might kill myself with my impulsive acts. This time my self harm was the worse ever and I just don't know who to turn to. No one has rang me from my MH team. It's like they don't care but why should they really?
Going to just keep my head under my pillow and try and keep myself safe. I've got to try and keep going.