Not a good title to a post or a good thing to do but Friday evening I had had enough. I picked up all my medication and took a cocktail of everything I have. Saturday came round very quickly and I was dull and sluggish. I remember talking to my cpn at some point on Friday and her saying I was sounding very sedated - I must have done a good job of fobbing her off.
Yesterday I managed to go to my brother's barbeque but I did.t know anyone there and I made small ralk for a while before going home.
Then back to the meds - they had worked so well the night before and my head is in a crap place right now. However I know its dangerous and not a game I should be playing - 'How many pills does it take to knock me out?' 'Which combination works best?' Got a horrible feeling I didn't even think about how much paracetamol and think tramadol has paracetamol in it too = oh well, too late now.
I just don't really care.
Stupid thing is that I'm off on holiday this week and I've been looking forward to it. Where has that fight gone?