Just spoken to the night crisis team. I really don't know what I would do without them. They listen and acknowledge how I'm feeling. No matter how often I call they don't judge me or make me feel like I shouldn't call them.
I think I would probably have killed myself months ago if it wasn't for this team of people. They know how to calm me down no matter how upset I am or how much I'm struggling.
The difference between them and the day crisis team is that they really try to listen and help me. They stay with me while I try to get out of the bathroom and up off the floor. They talk me through changing my bed and sorting myself out and they give me time and patience.
When I cry, shake and even hurt myself they don't panic but stay outside of the chaos and hold me till I'm calm enough to sort myself out.
They talk to me about my job and my family and try to bring me back into the here and now.
Most of all they encourage me and affirm that I can keep going. I really don't know where I would be without them.
It's so good how they stay with me and break everything down into small achievable steps but don't make me feel stupid when the steps just seem impossible at that moment.
I hope there will be a day soon that I won't need them anymore as I'm sure they must be so fed up of me. I can imagine staff meetings where they talk about the mad Julie that calls in the night and I know I must be so frustrating as it just never seems to change or get better. I'm like a broken record.
I'm so lucky to have Karen, Glen, Dave and Prakash at the end of the phone during the night. They're special people and I appreciate all that they do for me.